Career

At the moment its kicking my butt! I have only had 4 shifts on the unit (12 hours) but I have learned a lot and am trying to digest it all and make it stick. I have a good preceptor- orienter to the unit. She knows her stuff and I am sure that someday I will be there too.

I think in the beginning I had the nervous scared feelings- which I have heard sometimes never go away- AWESOME (not!) I had never worked with intubated or sedated patients. Now I know that process somewhat. My preceptor has made it a priority to seek out those patients for us to care for; enhance my learning or something of the like. In Pediatrics- we see all sorts of disease processes. Now LPCH for example- one of the top places to go to in the nation because of the teaching/research aspect of the facility. More unique learning experiences for me. I have always enjoyed learning and sought it out...this time its different- so much harder! I think I may have also had some very unrealistic expectations of myself, I didnt really anticipate that my learning curve would be so drastic. I am having to exercise my critical thinking skills even more than I ever have. Ive been told even RNs who have been there for a long time, have tons of experience still dont know everything. Makes it a little better I guess. :) There is no expectation of anyone knowing quiet what to do in every instance and the uniqueness of LPCH itll never happen. Probably never see the same thing twice, each disease process, child and scenario differ in many different ways. I know that I was ready for this challenge, I just have to keep reminding myself everyday "I can do it!" Had a little bit of a realization of all of this today. Hence, the blog note. Also hadnt done one in a while. Would have rather journaled it in my private journal at home but it hurts my hand too much to write like that for so long. This is quicker and easier. Overall I know Ill be okay, but its tough! Im back to work Monday, with a diffrerent preceptor for one day, could be good and bad. Well see. Ill let you know. Yesterday was a good day. I was kinda able to grasp the tasks that have to be done...managed time well, knew the patient well enough, and got through day with more confidence than previous shifts. Only time will tell.

Side note: I am still healing emotionally from everything that has gone on from the last year...losing my grandpa; planning back in August to move out and break up with Kraig. then 6 months later moving out, finding new job, buying new car, moving again and starting new job. A lot. Somehow amist all of this I have still managed to stay strong- kept a good diet, lost some weight I had gained after nursing school and rebuilt friendships with my best friends. They have been the saving grace for me in this. I have opened up a lot and found myself again. I dont feel bad for who I am anymore and know I am good person, who works hard, is motivated, has goals for herself and trys to reach them. I enjoy traveling, exploring new places, meeting new people and hearing their stories, anything that gets my creative juices flowing...hobbies; loves to exercise and maintaining a good health status and ultimately live a very active full life. All of these things never matched with the Ex. Someday someone will. :0)